After the epic fail that was my attempt to get fit at the end of the summer, the time has come to make another attempt. Since my last disastrous effort I have rewarded myself with food – and more food. Yes, I’ve used all the lines – it’s for my work, t’would be rude not to, I’m a restaurant reviewer and the all too frequent ‘ooh I’ll just have a small piece’.
None of these things should have stopped me exercising. Now it’s not like I’m lazy. I’m up at the crack of dawn and I work all day – I write, I travel, I give talks, I attend events, I collect the kids, I cook the dinner (notice I’m not mentioning housework here). And now my clothes are too tight – I mean they are really tight. I have options – stretchy pants (ah God no), a bigger size (I swore I’d never ever ever go over size 12-14) or I could get off my arse and do something. Last week I started. I brought my runners into Freddy Buttons HQ and tried to squeeze in a bit of a walk each day. On one day I even walked to Penneys to get Halloween make up for Ruth (if you follow me on snapchat you’ll know all about that particular drama). But as sure as I’m lying here in the bed writing in the dark, if it rains next week that’s the walking out the window.
But I have another plan (at this point when my parents read this, my mother will be rolling her eyes to the heavens and my father will be laughing his head off). Seriously though I have a plan.
I’m getting a Cross Trainer.
Yes, a Cross Trainer is going to be the answer to all my fat problems. I will become the Queen of Cross Training (once I figure out how to use it). How difficult can it be? I will put it in the sitting room in front of the TV and I’ll become so immersed in intelligent TV (Judge Judy) that the pounds will dissipate without me even knowing. I reckon by the beginning of 2016, I’ll have a body like Elizabeth Hurley. How hard can it be though really? I’ll be snapchatting and vlogging from my cross trainer in my designer work out gear – God, I’ll be fabillis. I’ll be a shining beacon of good example to women world wide. Oh yes, t’will be the making of me. Don’t you agree? I hope you do as I will need all the support I can get because my own family crack up laughing at the thought of me trying to work a cross trainer. Seriously, they have no faith. Okay, so I have failed before – but that only makes me more heroic right? Maybe I should skip Judge Judy and just have the theme tune to Chariots of Fire in the background to spur me on, such is my determination. All I know is I’ve got to do something – and fast.
Anyone know where I could get a gentle Cross Trainer?
Dream It & Do It on Nov 7th is SOLD OUT. Some tickets remaining for Nov 14th. Buy them HERE
* Buy the full set of Freddy Buttons books (signed) over on http://www.freddybuttons.com
* Read Fiona’s feature on Sloe Gin in the new edition of Irish Country Magazine – in shops now.
* To book Fiona to visit your group click HERE